I have a spoiler alert… What I’ll be sharing with you about ADHD, steps a little bit aside of what you may have been reading, or even feeling.
I believe that when I was born, instead of crying, I yelled “pen and paper, now!” I was born a writer; so, when I experienced my first trauma at seven years old, somehow and by “some reason” I kept a smile on my face and thought something like, “My life is going to be like a movie; I’ll be the hero and it will have the best ending ever. It’s going to be so amazing that not even I can imagine it. And I’ll tell people about it!”
I convinced myself I had a higher purpose; a mission; and I stick to it with all my might. Later, during my adolescence, I started writing my “memoirs” … because I thought I had enough for a nice inspiring book (oh, well…). Thus, every time I’d experience what it could be have been a “happy ending” for it, I’d start a new draft.
But life kept hitting me with more traumas and tough experiences; so I thought, “Ok; someday this will end; now I have to endure this, collect these stories and O-M-G this book is going to be awesome; people are going to love it!”
I thought I was getting ready to write one big beautiful story about how anyone can be resilient and thrive just by having a purpose in life. Little I knew, it was actually the story of a neurodivergent, answering to her true nature: to seek happiness, incessantly.
The so-called ADHD, is not an illness nor anything wrong with us; it’s a nature that comes with a brain that works in a different way; one that: asks us to seek for purpose and happy things! One that makes us creative and extremely sensitive, and compels us to have a healthy life (by doing sports, having a healthy diet and building a healthy environment)
But it comes with some downsides too; for some it’s hard to focus on things our brains are not interested in; for some it’s very difficult to control these emotions that seem to explode out of the blue…
The way I see it, our brains should have come with a manual… but we can write our own.
To those downsides of my ADHD, and some other peculiarities of my personality that would make me feel different – misunderstood, lost, graciously weird – I learned to embrace them, because I had a pretty hard job to do: to fulfil my mission.
I did great for twenty years! But then, I had to moved away from the mountains and the sea where I ran and lost most of my milk teeth; I stopped doing sports; I started drinking and doing cocaine… I gained a lot of weight; an abusive relationship even got in middle of all of it, and my soul got ill; I started failing in life and, therefore, feeling the so-called ADHD symptoms.
I pushed myself so hard that my brain took off in 2017; I believe it said something like “I took you as far as I could! I’m out!” I call it my “brain collapse.” Thinking I had early Alzheimer’s I went to a neurologist and visit different psychiatrists, until I discovered I had ADHD.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult that era of “collecting stories” ended; and the one of the Final Draft began.
Why what I’m going to share steps aside from what you may have been reading or even feeling? Because I believe being neurodivergent saved my life; this brain’s hyperactivity pushing me to continue in the pursue of happiness, kept me on my feet.
I did great when I kept a balance between my brain, body and mind; and I failed when I didn’t. But above all, I’m still here because I had a purpose; because I listened to my inner voice telling me how wonderful life is and how gorgeous our journeys can be if we believe… in ourselves, in our dreams, in God if you wish.
This is my journey.
I really hope you can get something out of it because …, well, it was hard as f*ck to get here.
Yours truly, (seriously)