Tag: access gold

  • ADHD Brain Freeze and Stagnation: Welcome to the S-Zone

    ADHD Brain Freeze and Stagnation: Welcome to the S-Zone

    Have you ever imagined the person you would hate to become? Have you ever feared it so much that thinking about it was your worst daymare? I have.

    Here it is: It is the end of the world (I shit you not) There are zombies eating brains in the streets; neurotypicals brains only; zombies are not stupid. I am in my sixties; I am a fat old lady, with long grey and messy hair, wearing an NYC hoodie I bought during the Big Bang and to which I held on to with the unbreakable hope of seeing the Big Apple one last time.

    My house – where I’ve been locked up since the zombies arrived – is falling apart. I had started to flip it before “the arrival”, but then, ADHD + zombies = “do cows sleep on their feet?” I live alone; I don’t want to rescue pets because everybody dies or leave, and I can’t handle any more pain.

    I survive. 

    That’s all I do. 

    Oh, my dildo still works.

    I am armed up to my teeth, and I do not ever open the door… But then one day, I see through my window a group of teenagers trying to escape the zombies, and I do; I open my door to them. I welcome them feeling they are disgustingly young and beautiful, while I’m watching how the blondie is about to get chopped by a booby trap I’ve forgotten to mention (oops) 

    They tell me they know about a place where one can build a safe future; they have been running towards it, and they won’t give up. And they want my truck; they saw I have gallons of gas, so they say to me, “let’s fill it up and go! Why didn’t you leave before?” My life flashes before my eyes, a tornado of thoughts hit me, and I can’t answer …

    The zombies break in and I feel one person must stay behind to fight them while the group gets in the truck… The sad truth is I’m too tired to even think about lifting my leg to jump into the truck. So I say, “You go.” And I die; only because I’ve put some of the blondie’s brain over my head; duh.

    But as I’m being eaten, I see them escaping towards their future and I feel envy… I think, “Why didn’t ‘I’ get out? Was I always so tired of surviving that I forgot how to live?” My life flashes before my eyes and my last thought is, “If only I…”

    Now, Seriously

    Years ago, I started writing that story just to vent, because my daymare is pretty much like that and I needed to do some catharsis. I have always feared to become that old lady who lives across the street and gets out from time to time; that one of whom people talk about saying, “They say she had a great future, and no one knows why she didn’t get through.”

    Why am I thinking about this today? Because a few weeks ago I entered – drum roll please – the stagnation zone. 

    That’s how I call it; when we get so burned out that we get stuck for days, weeks… even months if we don’t do something about it.

    How did I get here? Back in December I was juggling with a lot of projects, and a lot of things happened that stressed me out; I should have taken a break as I was taking care of those things, but I didn’t… When those things happened, I felt as if someone had thrown at me three more balls at once; and so eventually I ended up dropping them all, over my fucking my head.

    Living With ADHD and Entering the S-Zone

    You know… When I leave my house, I say to myself, “You’re leaving the house.” (Once again, “I shit you not.”) I can get so distracted in the streets, that my ex-husband used to say I’d die under a bus. 

    That being said, a couple of weeks ago I was crossing a street thinking, “Wait for the white light, the white little figure…” and out of nowhere it hit me: I am about to turn an age that FREAKS ME OUT.

    So right there in the middle of the street, I got to wonder, “What am I doing? What have I achieved? I have nothing. Can I still pull it off?” I felt a rush taking over me, and then I froze. I “dropped the balls,” but I did manage to get to the sidewalk. It’s not my ghost writing this post; chill.

    When I get those seriously negative thoughts, is when I know I have entered the S-Zone; so I refuse them immediately; I block them; I know it’s time to begin my rehab.

    Before my diagnosis, before knowing this was an ADHD thing, I use to fall in long periods of depression, ruminating about how shitty my life was when it wasn’t.

    Just To Be Clear…

    I was going to send a couple of newsletters with a series of posts, so you wouldn’t think I am not working for this blog. I also was afraid to show you how much I struggle because I want you to find strength in my stories…

    But then I wondered, “what if you find comfort in seeing how much I struggle too?”

    I was very doubtful about publishing this post; I didn’t want you to think, “And how about all that gratitude you’ve been practicing, and college, and blah? Was that a lie?” It wasn’t… It isn’t… I still do my thing every morning; I am still excited about coming back to a class; but I am just having “a few of those weeks.”

    When I enter the S-Zone, I can’t do much; I can’t do anything truly productive actually; so I fake a vacation… I decorate my house with a few things from NYC to make it look like a hotel, and I try – “I try” – not to work more than four hours per day, or not to work at all.

    And this is one of the reasons why I decided to post this: because I can stop working, but how about those of us who can’t? The stagnation is an ADHD thing, and I believe we should have the right to ask for a leave of absence at our jobs.

    How Does Stagnation Feels Like?

    The way I see it, this is like having car fueled by solar panels; when it runs out of energy it gets stuck. We could pull it for a few blocks with some help, but it’s not going to get further than that; and how exhausting would be to pull such a dead weight? How much it would hurt us to do so?

    It needs time to recharge, and we need to wait for the sun… Just wait…The more we pull, the longer is going to take us to recover. 

    Why am I still here if I know how to get out? Because after that day I realized I had entered the S-Zone, I didn’t slow down; I kept pulling and pushing… so now I’m paying for it. 

    How to Cope With the ADHD Stagnation

    For the past few days, I surrendered to it with grace. I know it’s going to pass; if I take this downtime the right way, one of these mornings I’ll wake up and I’ll feel recharged; I’ll have new and fresh ideas, I’ll be able to hyperfocus and catch up. The car is not dead nor broken; it just needs a recharge and time. (“ugh, waiting,” I know…)

    It’s a period to do introspection,

    • How did I get here?
    • What’s been stressing me?

    And also a period to pull a Marie Kondo on our brains; there may be unnecessary thoughts getting in the way, or even good projects which need to be on pause. 

    I’ve decided, for instance, that I won’t be taking the finals in the upcoming weeks, and I gave up a project which I wasn’t really working on, but it was getting in the middle. Some of my decisions hurt; but I know is for the best.

    Cleanance and priorities. This is what the period is about. And “pride”, the pride of knowing we live with a chaotic brain and still we kick ass. I shouldn’t have killed the blondie… I am so much cooler than her.

    oOo

    Now, right now, this is all I can do.

    “Sorry” comes to my mind and I say “fuck, no”. I am not going to apologize for my mental health.

    I am not down nor defeated; today I was able to open my heart with no shame and hit publish; and maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and I’ll see my path clearly again and I’ll resume my life as if nothing had happened

    I am just having a few of those weeks, you know? … I just… I just have ADHD.

    Thank you for reading.

  • How Studying Can Be the Ultimate ADHD Brain Training Strategy

    How Studying Can Be the Ultimate ADHD Brain Training Strategy

    The times I’ve told someone with ADHD, “have you considered taking a course, studying something?”, they looked at me as if I had told them, “have you considered going to the dentist?” It’s as if they’d sensed I’ve seen a crooked tooth or something and fixing it is going to hurt.

    Studying with ADHD can be a challenge for many of us, and even something that feels impossible to achieve; for me, it has been a recovery place, a training strategy.

    And this is what I did after practicing gratitude had re started my engines; this is the second step I took to gain control of my life and purpose.

    Let’s Get Something Clear

    Question! When you think about getting an education, what do you think of? Do you think about a structured and boring thing that’s going to take a long time? It doesn’t have to be like that…

    Example! In case you feel I’m telling you that have you a crooked tooth: I found a free tutorial on Web Design (for our Instagram Posts!) that’s super cool: it’s split in like eight videos of 2 minutes or so. 🤗

    After having watched it, the outcome was a quick, fun and effective boost of dopamine, and… knowledge!

    When I invite someone to consider “taking a course”, I am not preaching “go to school.” All I am saying is,“take your brain for a run, with a goal.” It’s exercise!

    If we think about education, outside the box and in a very brief way, it is simply a clear and rewarding path towards a goal; that goal can be a cool Instagram post or the neuroscience behind ADHD.

    How Education Can Be a Training Place for Our ADHD Brain

    You know…, people treat me as if I was a nerd/weirdo when I say that studying saved my life, more than once; and even though I am a nerd and a cool weirdo 🤷🏻‍♀️, there’s much more behind that. 

    Quick story! When I began recovering emotionally from my brain collapse (when I couldn’t even remember my own signature), I took a few and short online courses on Web Development.

    Besides being useful for me, I was interested in the abstract knowledge, in a place where I would hyperfocus on semicolons and brackets instead of words. Coding, in my case, leaves no room for bad or futile thoughts.

    During the first weeks I was able to pay attention to the videos for 15 minutes or so; then 30, an hour, two, three… After three months, I was happier and willing to write again, … and I recalled how to sign a document with my name 🥴.

    I also say very often “this or that helped me saving my life”, which may lead one to believe that I am underestimating the concept of saving one’s life; but I am not. I have lived for decades surviving traumas with an untreated ADHD, and studying played a huge role in my survival.

    Getting an education is for me like a skateboard I jump in to move forward, to leave a bad state of mind quickly and to feel “rewarded.”

    From Practicing Gratitude to Exercising Consistency

    By August of 2021, I was sort of achieving a masters on practicing gratitude, but I was also a tiny bit afraid of failing again and letting the wakeup call boost fade away. And it was August! That’s when I get the “August rush”, remember?

    I was on the right path, but I wasn’t at my best yet. I wanted to come back to this blog and I couldn’t write for more than two hours per week; hence, I needed to practice “consistency, commitment.”

    So! I chose to resume a career I had to put on hold in 2007 because, well, back then I was an adult with an undiagnosed ADHD and studying wasn’t as easy as it had been when I was in my twenties; the undesired symptoms, they do get worse with age.

    One may think why I didn’t choose something simpler and short-termed; but in this case, for me it was. I came back to the same University, thus they recognized me half of the semester I had passed in 2007.

    And, above all, I had a very clear vision of what I was going to do and why.

    Setting Our Own Goals

    When I signed up, I did something that I consider very important for us with ADHD: I set for myself my own goals, regardless of what was expected of me. I thought,

    “I don’t know if I’ll be able to study this much again, at this age, while I’m working. So, I’m just going to focus on attending the classes and passing the mid-term tests; if I can take the finals too, awesome; if not, I’ll take them on March.”

    Furthermore, since I still work for my dream of moving to NYC for good, the world is such a mess and I didn’t know what would happen this year, I also said to myself,

    “Right now it’s not my goal to finish this career; I just wanna study this semester. And I am going to take it as test for myself; if I can do it, awesome; if I can’t, I’ll see what else I’d need to do.”

    The Outcome

    It was freaking painful 🤦🏻‍♀️.

    But I did it! And I passed two classes with a 100% and one with a 90%. How-about-that!

    Doing that semester helped me with the following, for instance:

    • I remembered I used to use “weekly planners” (instead of “daily planners”) to cope more efficiently with my time-blindness;
    • I had to work in groups (ugh, righ?) and bit by bit I re gained more control over my hyperactive brain and my emotions, and I was able to be forgiven and patient with those humans thinking inside the boxes (#sorrynotsorry)

    Studying is not only about the degrees but also about what it can do for us.

    An ADHD Training Place

    When we search for tools to cope with our ADHD, we look for ADHD coaches, apps for ADHD, fidgeting toys… “Ugh.” Why would we rely on things to get better, when we can train our brains, by ourselves, to rely on it? Wouldn’t you like to rely on your brain, and nothing but your brain?

    We struggle a lot with our executive functions and the lack of dopamine, and what they do to us; a learning process, no matter how short, can help us with all of that.

    “But Laly, I don’t know how study!” Let me tell you, with all my years in college, I didn’t know how to study web development… I had no idea where to start, and I figured it out. Because we are creative; we think outside the box; we can find our own ways. Furthermore, we don’t need to know “study techniques” for quick webinars or tutorials; c’mon!

    Taking a course allows us to (beyond the knowledge we’d be gaining of course): 

    • have a clear goal to hold on to. Purpose, check!
    • have small challenges (the tests!). Dopamine boost, check!
    • work on our executive functions to manage the time, the tasks, etc;
    • and if the classes need our presence, we get to meet new people and work on our social skills;

    Bottom Line Is…

    Whenever I feel stuck, I do this: I take my brain for a run and I set my own rules; if I sign up for something that may take a long time, I split it and set short term goals for myself. This is what I did with college last year. And about those coding courses I took (in 2017), the first one was 6 weeks long, the second one was 8 weeks long, and so on.

    One last story: when I was living in Vegas, with like 40 bucks left on my bank account (I shit you not), I watched a free webinar on photography that was probably an hour and a half long. I learned so much, that I put it in practice for my photos, and then someone saw my Instagram grid and hired me!

    Therefore, my dearest hyper neurodivergent, I’ll leave you with one humble advice: If you’re feeling stuck and with lack of purpose, think about what you truly enjoy doing; then search for course at put that brain in motion! No matter how small. This is about what it can do for you… and you never know where new knowledge can lead you 😉 

  • What You’re Reading About ADHD Could Be Dangerous

    What You’re Reading About ADHD Could Be Dangerous

    “Where to start?” After receiving our diagnose, many of us find that doctors don’t know enough; so, we start googleling for articles, searching on YouTube for a five or ten minute video that can explain it all; we begin following the ADHD hashtag on social networks, retweeting and reposting every time we feel, “This is totally me!” We may even take a course…

    I did it all, and I learned I should have follow my doctor’s guidance sooner than I had because: not everything that’s out there is accurate and, also, it may not applies to us.  

    Thus, I thought about reflecting on what we are reading, how it can have a bad impact on us and how we can take care of ourselves.

    Learning on Our Own

    If we want to learn how to master our ADHD brain, we’d start by learning what’s happening up there; do you agree? Then, if we want to learn how an ADHD brain is different, first we’d need to know how any brain works; right? That’s how I started; digging about the parts of the brain, on recognised websites.

    I wanted to find “one” image that would give me the whole picture; instead, I found a lot of different classifications and many of those had even another take; for instance: one of those divides the brain in two or three parts according the human evolution, and it says that the “limbic” part is the oldest. Exhausted, I asked Dr. K about it and he said, “No; forget about it; it’s a theory; read this.”

    • He gave me a list of Med Journals to search for papers (which I’ll post asap in the Guide)
    • One the first books he lent me was “The Power of Neurodiversity” by Thomas Armstrong PhD; very enlightening;
    • Then I started taking classes of neuroscience with him (lucky me, this psychiatrist specialises in neuroscience and ADHD, and he is a Professor)

    And about those papers…. When I started my treatment, one of the side effects I used to have was blurred vision. One day it got so bad that I went straight to PubMed and I found that the methylphenidate could cause glaucoma in children with ADHD. I freaked out, told my doctor and started directing all my executive functions to get an appointment with an ophthalmologist.

    My doctor said, “Wait; stay calm; try quitting them if you wish until you see the ophthalmologist; still, your PTSD may be causing those side effects; try to avoid stress; remember to drink plenty of water.” And he asked, “What did you read?” And I said, “I know the study has seven subjects, but still!”

    “Seven.” Or so…, I can’t remember… But, you get the point, right?

    Taking ADHD Courses

    Recently I spent all my savings, U$S 675 (which in Argentina feels like over a hundred percent more) [1] on an ADHD course “approved by the International Coach Federation (ICF);” that seems extremely serious and trustworthy, right? Well…

    At the “Simply ADHD” course offered by ADDCA, I received a manual from which I read: “The brain takes in incredible amounts of information from our senses, the environment, our interactions, feelings, and memories.” I went nuts; how could a course that trains ADHD coaches can say this? That’s Biology 101! The brain only receives information from our senses!

    Then I read, “The mind is the essence of our being, (…) or the commander of our command center who can pause, make thoughtful decisions, and take thoughtful action. Our mind resides in and around the brain (…)” I laughed. I mentioned this “concept of the mind” (which is a psychological theory,) to Dr. K and he went like, “Don’t even…”

    Following #ADHD on Social Networks

    There are a lot of well-known Twitter accounts from ADHD advocates, saying what ADHD is; they share their struggles: they give us a great dose of motivation but also, make a lot of people believe ADHD is the same for everyone.

    We are so much alike, that when we read another neurodivergent saying the same things in the exact way we say it, we believe, “Who am I? Am I clone? Do I even have a personality?”

    You do. You do have a personality; ADHD may define a lot of your behavior, but it doesn’t make you equal to every other neurodivergent. Your upbringing, your own values, your own strength; these are the things that shape who you are at the end of the day. How you manage your ADHD shape your neurodivergent nature.

    A Humble Advice

    Living with ADHD is quite a challenge, and the discovery path we take to understand it is very difficult; we are learning about neuroscience! But above all, what we discover can hurt us, bring us down if we don’t count with the proper guidance; and this guidance, must come from our doctor.

    There are great books; Russel A. Barkley and Thomas E. Brown are, for instance, the two most recognised authors on ADHD; but, each of them have their own vision; they even have their own “list” of executive functions. Why is that? Because no one has agreed yet on which the executive functions are.

    So, here is my humble advice (besides, of course, finding a doctor who can guide you)

    • If you find what it seems to be a nice research study, pay attention to the methods they’ve used and how many patients have participated; then, search for another one and “ask your doctor.”
    • If you’re taking a course, please don’t make the mistake I made and check who’s behind that course; the people who instructed me at ADDCA are coaches (not doctors, not specialists in neuroscience, not professors).
    • Bear in mind that the research on ADHD is in diapers; question everything; double check with your doctor;
    • When you read something on social media or an online magazine: check the author’s profile; and above all, ask yourself how do you feel about it; does it apply to you? It may not.

    As I said before,

    “ADHD may define a lot of your behavior, but it doesn’t make you equal to every other neurodivergent. Your upbringing, your own values, your own strength; these are the things that shape who you are at the end of the day. How you manage your ADHD shape your neurodivergent nature.”

    I Take It Like My Horoscope

    I don’t believe in horoscopes… but I do wonder, “If the moon has influence over the tides and the human body is mostly water, it could influence us too.” For that reason, I never paid much attention to the zodiac horoscope; but the Chinese one …, something about it got me hooked.

    Twenty years ago I went to the book signing of Ludovica Squirru, a recognized Argentinian author of the Chinese horoscope; and what she said, changed my whole perspective. She said something like,

    “This is what the starts have aligned for you, but it doesn’t mean this is going to happen to you. A horoscope should be seen as a guide; if it says we’re going to lack of money on September, save for September!”

    That is how I take everything I read on ADHD. If I read my brain has a challenge when it comes to its the executive functions, I wonder, “How does this apply to me?” For example: everybody says we all have a lot of problems with our “organization skills;” but I never had an issue with it.

    … That could be thanks to the nuns in School or due to my military father who is the epitome of what an organized person is; I don’t know… but I’m the Marie Kondo of my dopamine (with a current help of that thing called “Ritalin”; I must give it a lot of credit these days.)

    It’s said that we are wired to see the good in people; so, I’d say trust no one until you corroborate they are worth your trust.

    And remember that even though you have a neurodiverse nature, you’re still unique; wonderfully unique.

    Notes

    [1] A dollar in Argentina is over 150 pesos; thus, my wallet payed for that course what in the US would be over six thousand dollars.

  • How to Find Our Inner Voice: The “Top-Down” and “Bottom-up” Processing

    How to Find Our Inner Voice: The “Top-Down” and “Bottom-up” Processing

    When I was a teenager, I thought I was “smart but dumb.” I couldn’t understand how despite being so intelligent I’d make such poor life choices. In the early 90s, without internet, I couldn’t google “how do I find my inner voice”. So, I’d ask friends about it, my dad’s wife, my aunts. But they didn’t help much.

    Today I know we can find our inner voice with science: by knowing what information we hold in our brains, and how our brain processes that information.

    Let’s make this fun.

    Between Two Opposite Inner Voices

    Knowing I was smart, but feeling I was so dumb, I’d think, “What’s wrong with me?” Like Indiana Jones in the final puzzle of the “Last crusade,” I used to jump from “I don’t know” to “probably yeah,” and then to “nope” and “Oops, I did it again.”

    I began asking people for advice, whenever I’d needed help to decide and avoid the “Oops, I did it again.” And they would always tell me, “Listen to your heart.” (Ugh) 

    I’d reply, “What does it mean? Give me a proper answer! Is it something I need to feel?” (And let me tell you, Roxette coming out with the “listen to your heart, when he is calling for you,” made me consider my musical choices.)

    So, that didn’t help much. 

    Whenever I’d have to make a decision, I used to have this issue:

    • Something in me was telling me, “I really want to do this!”
    • While another part of me was saying, “Mmm. better don’t do that.”

    Did I have two inner voices? If so, which one was right?

    Passion Vs. Purpose

    Let’s pretend two things1

    • one, that we can wrap up all the information our brain has in two categories: purpose and passion. 
    • and two,
      • that our “passion” is information we’ve gathered sort of naturally 
      • that our “purpose” is information we’ve worked on.

    Purpose and passion are simply names I came up with to distinguish easily what scientist say.

    Now, Those two categories are in two different parts of our brain: in the back bottom, and in the upper front. And they compete.

    “Bottom-Up” and “Top-Down” Processing

    “Bottom-up” and “Top-Down” processing, are scientific terms to explain how our brain processes information (according to most scientists)

    When we are trying to make a decision, those two parts begin chatting with each other: 

    • the “bottom-up processing” (which kicks in automatically, like “right away”) says, “Let’s do it! I really want this!” 
    • and the “top-down processing” says (hopefully), “Wait. Let me check if I can allow it.”

    Therefore, I had in fact two voices.

    Let’s break it down with a couple of examples.

    Example: The People Vs. Madonna

    I grew up in the 80s surrounded by women who’d tell me that, “Men can be bad, and cheat. Women must put up with it. It is the way it is and has been.”

    That “information” was stored in the back bottom of my brain (sort of speak) Those “teachings”, took root in my brain becoming a habit to choose bad boys. I wanted to choose a good one, but my intention wasn’t that strong.

    So, every time I’d meet a gorgeous bad boy, he’d become the project I could fix and the torture I’d have to endure. (Because I was woman, and that’s how things were)

    Then I discovered “Madonna”, and she’d tell me to “express myself”, to be strong. I wanted to follow her advice because it seemed according to my own beliefs of how a woman should live her life. 

    However, “old habits die hard”. So, even though a little voice within me started saying, “Choose the good boy,” I couldn’t answer to it.

    Needless to say, it took me a long time to erase what the women in my life had taught me and to embrace my own beliefs, my own way of living and my path to happiness.

    This is important:

    The brain grows from the back bottom to the upper front. And as we grow, we begin storing information there (sort of speak) So, our passion, that kicks in automatically, will be stronger. 
    It is our job to work on our goals and beliefs, so that they can win the fight.

    We are to take as much as we need to see where is the balance.

    Because… our “passion” may not always be bad. Cue for another example!

    Parting Vs. Saving Money

    Let’s say I’ve been working a lot so I could save money to buy a new computer, which I really need for my work. 

    But I get an invite to a super cool party, and, what’s the harm? A friend will pick me up and bring me back home. I won’t spend money “at all” and I deserve some fun!

    The party was mind-blowing, and so was the hunk my friend hooked up with. Now it’s 3am, and how do I get back home? 

    My instinct wisely says, “take a cab, it would be dangerous to walk back home.” My instinct is correct, but it collides with my goal of saving money.

    So how would I get out from that crossroad?

    By avoiding it in the first place.

    I had put a “bet” on the fact that I wouldn’t spend money. Why would I bet when I have an important goal?

    This is specially important for those of us with ADHD. We tend to not see beyond what’s happening now, what we want now.

    How Do I Find My Inner Voice

    Whenever I need to make a decision and I feel the two parts in my brain are driving me insane, I let them talk… And I wait… 

    Then, when I feel at peace with the result of that chit-chat, when I feel there is no more doubt, that is when I act.

    And if I need to make a decision “now”? Well, if I have my purpose very clear, and I know which of my instincts are correct, the time to reflect will certainly be shorter.

    So, if you think about it, that “Listen to your heart” response, wasn’t that wrong. When I feel my heartbeat is normal, when I stop feeling the doubt punching my chest, that is when I know I’ve found my inner voice.

    Footnotes

    1. These concepts have been explained based on Dr. Klijnjan’s “Bases neurobiológicas implicadas en el comportamiento” [PPT] Carrera de Posgrado en Psiquiatría ↩︎
  • How to Drive a Manual Brain

    How to Drive a Manual Brain

    Perhaps I should resume this new blog by telling you why I am specializing on ADHD coaching; but, since I left a hint on my previous post and recently someone asked me “What is an ADHD coach”, my brain took another turn.

    Thinking about an answer to that question, as I was driving the other day (I drive stick), a metaphor pop up in my head; I’d say I thought something like, “OMG; a neurotypical brain is like an automatic car and a neurodivergent brain is like a manual car; and just like you go to an instructor to learn how to drive, we go to an ADHD coach to guide us on learning about the particularities that are behind driving a “manual brain.”

    Then, I did my best to explain it.

    Quick Intro

    I’ve been driving stick since I learned how to drive, and I love it so much that when I drive a manual car I feel I’m not driving (it’s so easy that is boring!) To do so, as I’ll explain, one must learn how to use three pedals and a stick shift with seven positions, and also how to listen to the engine; the sound of the engine is what tell us what do next.

    It’s like becoming one with the car; one must be completely aware that we’re driving… and this, this makes every ride so much enrichening…

    Now, bear in mind this: a manual and an automatic car are the same (mostly). A few years ago, I got a brand-new Chevrolet with a payment plan and the dealer asked me, “Will you be taking the automatic or the manual one?” The question was simple because the difference between them were superficial (like, having a button to “roll down the window” or not ); but they both had the same horses, the same motor, Bluetooth! Therefore, the main difference relies on how to drive it.

    How to Drive a Manual Car

    Attention peeps! This is cool; in a manual car, there are:

    •  three pedals; from left to right:
      • the clutch (which you press with your left foot)
      • the brake, and the gas or accelerator (which you press with your right foot)
    • and the stick shift has different positions 
      • reverse and five velocities
      • neutral gear
    My manual car ☺️

    And this is how you drive it:

    1. Enter the car and make sure the shift stick is on neutral;
    2. Put the keys on and start the engine; (well, duh)
    3. Press the clutch pedal and while you’re pressing it move the stick to “1”; release the clutch smoothly as you press the gas to drive for half a block or so; you’ll hear the engine asking you for more; then you:
    4. Press the clutch pedal again, move the stick to “2” and press the gas to drive for two blocks or so (always listening to the engine) And once again you,
    5. Press the clutch pedal, move the stick to “3” and – finally – press the gas and start enjoying the ride.

    Then if you:

    • want to go faster: continue pressing the clutch pedal and switching to “4” and then “5”, always listening to the engine;
    • need to stop: press the clutch pedal, move the stick to neutral and press the break.

    Bear this in mind: when you are pressing the clutch pedal to move the stick, you must release it very slowly while pressing the gas; you can’t simply lift your left foot because the car will choke. If you think about it, it’s like learning a choreography.

    It seems a lot… It is a lot; but once you get used to it, it comes naturally; what’s more difficult to learn is to listen to the engine to see when it needs more gas, and how to carefully transition from the clutch to the gas without choking the car.

    An ADHD brain, works exactly like that.

    Driving a Manual Brain

    A neurotypical brain, which is automatic, is easy to drive; you put the keys on, move the stick shift to D and press the gas to “just start driving.” A neurodivergent brain, on the other hand, is manual… and it needs more of our help.

    First, we must decide to get into the car and that is a huge deal; if where we must go is not of our interest, we won’t even bother to find the keys we’ve left “somewhere.”

    Then, we must be aware that we are driving and pay attention to the sound of the engine telling us how much power it needs; and of course, to the signs, the other cars and to those people who don’t cross the street from the corner!

    When we make a switch, we must do it smoothly and step by step; we cannot go from 1 to 3; we must change our gears step by step: 1, 2, 3, 4, full power!

    And, if an old lady wants to cross the street – and we have to release the gas, press the clutch pedal, move the shift stick to neutral and press the stop pedal – by the time grandma gets to the sidewalk, we may have forgotten where we were going to or lose interest in it; hey, we may even go back home thinking, “why did I go out in the first place? Oh… Toilette paper!”

    There is a lot more to it; but the fundamentals of driving a manual brain relies on this: 

    • having interest in going somewhere; 
    • starting with a pause;
    • being aware that we are driving (where to; what’s around us); 
    • listening to the engine to see what it needs; 
    • paying attention also to the transition process to switch gears;
    • do things one by one, following an order;
    • forgive the old lady without having a meltdown.

    So, What’s an ADHD Coach?

    It’s a neuro instructor! Is a person that will guide us to understand how this manual brain works so we can go to the moon and back because, …, yes, manual brains can also fly; and some of them can do it really fast.

    My Jalopy

    While driving a manual brain, we may feel that we’re stuck with a jalopy, with that old car our great grandparent got at an auction… and do you know what? In a way, we are; because when we get in, we see it’s full of surprises, treasures we never imagined there could be.

    In mine, I found in the trunk a map to a fantasy world where only I can go and where I can fly; under the driver’s seat, there’s a mysterious formula that makes my brain race at the speed of light and it’s hyper-awesome! The ceiling is covered with countless pictures of places, people, and things I long to visit, see and feel… And the wheel! O-M-G; the wheel has a silly smiley face over the horn, so every time I run into something that gets in my way, I smile ☺️

    A neurotypical person may wonder, “All of that?” and I’d reply, “Not even close.”

    I drove like an F1 driver for twenty years; with purpose, listening to my engine, being aware of everything around me and absorbing the knowledge from every person I’d meet and their new stories… But then, I crashed more times than I’d have expected.

    During my mid-twenties, I forgot about the cooling system and it ran out of water; and I kept pressing the gas to keep going – without listening to engine – until I broke my manual brain… Life, traumas and my own bad choices literally choked my brain until it went: “kaboom.”

    Maybe if I had known there was also a cooling system I needed to care of, I wouldn’t have failed; but then again, I wouldn’t be here telling you: “Even if you crash your brain into pieces, you can fix it.”

    Last but not least, I never lose my keys; I attached them to something big that I cherish, to something that brings me happy thoughts, so they are always at plain sight.

    … If you’d ask me, driving automatic is totally overrated.

    cark keys with a big cat keychain
    I was not lying ☺️ © neurodivergent.blog
  • ADHD in the Classroom: Strategies to Make the Most of a Class (High School and College)

    To Alicia Maggi: I still think of you when I feel proud,
    wondering if you would be too.

    Some say that we cannot finish anything; I say we don’t waste our time on anything we don’t like. Our awesome brains need happy things; exciting things and reward! But the classroom… It doesn’t seem to be the best place to look for that, right? Classes can result tedious and the reward (the degree) could seem far away. So, how about turning it into a cool place where we could instantly feel rewarded?

    Whether on primary or superior education, the classroom is the same: inside four walls (with windows calling us to chase birds and squirrels) we need to stay quiet, focus on the speaker’s speech instead of their odd choice of outfit, and print in our minds a knowledge that – many times – seems boring, useless, too easy for our royal attention or way to slow in the delivery.

    Those were my challenges, and these were my ways to overcome them: great teachers who realized I needed a push; breaks! certain accommodations and finding a quickly reachable goal that would make feel awesome.

    “Teacher, Make a Plan for My Brain”

    I had a plan in High School: “Why would I waste my time on studying something I don’t like and that I’ll never think of again? I’ll just do what’s necessary to pass.” But, one teacher discovered my lame strategy, crushed it, and probably changed the course of my life.

    She was my history teacher, Alicia Maggi, the tallest woman I’ve ever met, who’d wear huge Tutankhamun earrings and talk about history as if it were her only passion. One time I got a very poor grade on a test, and she wrote on it – with a striking green ink – a big “sixty something percent” and a long note which read, basically, “Why, Laura; Why; Come see me after class.” 

    So I did, and she told me, “Do you know why I wanted to talk to you? Because you can do more; why do you settle for this?” I understood what she was saying, … but there was actually nothing I could do; and I guess she realized that too, because she did it for me:

    Every morning, for a year, she would enter the classroom, greet the class, sit at her desk – dead silent -, open her black leather notepad (while we would all start to sweat), raise her sight and say, “María Laura.” I’d stand up, praying I could focus on at least one word of her question, and I could manage to come up with “something.” Me being summoned, every single day, was so evident that it became the joke of the class.

    Back in the early 90s, Alicia did her best, probably thinking I was a lazy girl with potential; I tried to answer to her encouragement, but it was hard, so hard; an ADHD brain working with nothing but willpower, can lead to a devastating frustration… however I did get through her class because she’d make it fun; listening to her was like watching the coolest History Channel documentary…and, honestly, I just wanted to make her proud.

    These days, we can tell our teachers we have ADHD, and they can develop for us an IEP (individual education program) [1]

    Put Me on the Front Seat

    I used to pay so much attention… in the teen magazine I’d have hidden below my desk, talking and passing jokes in little pieces of paper, hand to hand among “those twelve in the back.” After many visits to the Mother Superior’s office, saying, “Sorry, I won’t bring them again; by my fault, by my fault, by my most grievous fault,” magazines were: gone; and since I needed to close my mouth and pay attention, I was brought: to the front.

    Little they knew (or much did they?) that – one way or another – I would have to talk; and so a new version of me was born: that one who always has her hand up. Since that first year of High School and throughout every single course and career I attended, I sat on the first row, willingly, because I knew it would:

    • Put me on the spotlight, keeping me from talking to other people or chasing squirrels with my sight;
    • Force me to pay attention… at least some;
    • Push me to participate, to raise my hand, which would give me another benefit: getting rid of my doubts, right there, so I wouldn’t have to lose my precious royal time studying at home.

    Seating a student where there are fewer distractions [1], it’s been always a must for teachers to keep students quiet; but, for those of us with ADHD, is not only helpful but necessary.

    In the US, there are two laws that govern special services and accommodations for children with disabilities: The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 [2]

    I’ll Set a Goal to Raise My Hand (And Make It Fun!)

    Does raising hand seem something that could intimated you (or your child)? If so, here are a couple of things to bear in mind.

    First, “We are in the classroom, to learn” (Mind-blowing, right?) We don’t have to have the right answer, not even the right question! We are there, to learn. A professor once said to my class, “There’s no stupid question;” I’m so grateful for that. The learning process is not only about acquiring knowledge, it’s also about learning how to get that knowledge. Teachers hold the wisdom, and it’s our job to squeeze their brains by any means. 

    Second, our ADHD brain holds some special powers: speed, creativity and an “out of the box” way of thinking. During High School, I used to come up with questions that teachers would answer by saying, “Good one, but we’ll see that in three months” (that was my hyperactivity processing data at speed light) and, “Oh… Ok… That’s something we should discuss” (out of the box!) 

    As I became aware of this during my college years, I used to get ready for the classes only to come up with the oddest question to ask the next day; it was fun! (Sorry teachers; we do need our fun time)

    Needless to Say, “Give me break!”

    I attended a High School that instructed me to become an educator, so I experienced my own learning process as I was learning also “how to learn and how to teach;” there they taught us the human brain can hold its attention for 40 minutes before beginning to drop, and they put it on practice: we used to have 10-minutes breaks every other 40 minutes, religiously, and for me it worked like a charm.

    At University, however, professors were always in a rush to cover the curriculum of the day, because “there’s so much to cover and so little time!” (I wonder if this happens in other countries…) We did complain about it; it’s their job to make a schedule that fits the content! But one could guess the answer we received. Therefore, I’d take my own breaks; countless times I raised my hand to say, “Could we please stop for ten minutes?” and all the class would sing along, “Yes! Please!” (Eventually my classmates began looking at me with a, “Do it, do it now!”)

    To this day, I set a timer to write or study, and to take breaks. The IEP and 504 Plans, also mentions, “Allowing breaks or time to move around” [2]

    To Conclude

    We can find pleasure and reward in the classroom; I did it without knowing I had ADHD, encouraged by one good teacher who held my hand and wouldn’t let go; I did it by listening to myself, acting accordingly, asking for what I needed, and by making my learning process fun, as it should be! You can do it too.

    These days are good for us because the Law and Institutions are beginning to realize the importance of giving us extra help; however, there are still myths and ignorance, so it’s up to us to keep our head high and make to perfectly clear that we are not lazy; in fact, we’re the opposite! With proper guidance, we can reach the goals that we are imposed, and even go further!

    The learning process is like a puzzle; teachers give us the little pieces for us to put together; it may seem endless, boring, but once we focus on it, once we see the whole picture by zooming in and out with our hyperfocus, we’ll surely end up arranging the pieces to create a puzzle no one imagined was there.

    Alicia Maggi handling me my Bachelor’s Degree. Argentina, 1994

    References

    [1] HASSAN, Shirin (MD) 2017. “ADHD and School” URL: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/adhd-school.html [Last Visit: December, 2019]

    [2] CDC. 2019. “ADHD in the Classroom: Helping Children Succeed in School” URL: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/school-success.html [Last Visit: December, 2019]