Neurodivergent

Tag: coaches

adhd coach talking to client

An ADHD coach is not a therapist nor a health professional; they are simply people who have specialized in ADHD; some of them have taken life coaching courses and then ADHD coach training courses.

As you seek for one, it’s your job to corroborate how prepared this person is and if you can trust this person or not.

A coach with “a credential” won’t guarantee you this persons’ proficiency and/or expertise. There are coaches who train on their own to become “ADHD professionals” and simply start working as such.

  • Do You Wanna Be an ADHD Coach: 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

    Do You Wanna Be an ADHD Coach: 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

    ADHD coaches seem to be becoming trending in our world. So, I got to wonder: Who wants to become and ADHD coach, and why? Do they know what it takes to become one and what they’d be getting into?

    My questions arise for three mains reasons:

    • one, because one of the most read posts at this blog is the one about my nightmare at ADDCA, which leads me to think there are many people seeking seriously how to prepare for this profession; 
    • two, because the ADHD world is quite vast and complex, and those ADHD coach training courses make it seem like becoming a coach can take you a couple of years.
    • Three, because the ADHD world is also quite sensitive and everything related to it seems to be becoming a business: ADHD coaches, journals; fidgeting toys; apps! … And it makes me fear about us.

    This is a special world; not a business opportunity nor a world we can fully comprehend with a few courses or books. Every hyper neurodivergent is different; there’s a lot to learn about neuroscience and psychology (for instance); our community is still unraveling what ADHD is [1], and … it’s a lot.

    A good ADHD coach can help improving the life of a hyper neurodivergent; absolutely. But this person can also have a bad impact in our lives, leaving us frustrated and stuck in a loop of low-self-esteem and unproductively for days, weeks or more.

    Therefore, I thought I might help you with some questions; think about them as a roadmap to figure out if this is the career path you’re willing to take, and you’ll enjoy taking.

    1) Do You Know What an ADHD Coach Is and Does?

    When we seek for help, we usually have two or three persons in our team: 

    • A psychiatrist specialized in ADHD, who conducts the diagnosis and screening tests, and eventually provides for us medication if necessary and guides us through the process of finding the right one for us.
    • A CBT therapist specialized in ADHD (where CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapist)
    • A therapist: because, in many cases, the symptoms of our ADHD may be getting in the middle of our success due unresolved issues from our past, or because we get overwhelmed by the issues in our present and we don’t know how to face them.

    With those people we have a doctor-patient relationship, and sometimes is not enough; sometimes we need “a push”, someone who can help us to “do stuff.” This person is an ADHD Coach.

    An ADHD coach, provides for a client guidance towards one goal, in a short term. [i] I like to think about an ADHD coach as a “Neuro Instructor,” because this person has the knowledge on how an ADHD brain works and also strategies to help us cope with our ADHD towards that one goal.

    Think about being the guide and cheerleader for a person who wants to do “one thing;” for instance: learn how to manage their time; commit to start or to finish a project; understand the impact of their ADHD on their behavior; etc.

    I dare to say that if your client wants eventually to continue working with you, endlessly, is because they need a CBT therapist instead or a therapist – plain and simple – to work on what may have been holding them back from thriving.

    2) Are You Hyper Neurodivergent Or Related to Someone Who Is?

    A person with ADHD, has a brain that works in a different way; we talk about  neurodiversity (which is not a medical term) for advocacy purposes, to put an emphasis on our necessity to be understood and heard. We are part of a whole wide world that is going to be very difficult to understand if you’re not ADHD or if you’re not directly related to someone who is (a relative, or someone you live with)

    Having control over our executive functions is our biggest challenge; time management, behavioral regulation, adjusting to the neurotypical rules, everything that a non-neurodivergent takes for granted is an exhausting battle in our world. 

    Amidst those battles and the tornado of thoughts within our hyperactive brain, for many of us it is very hard to shush all the noise so that we find our inner voice, the one that can tell us what to do, what’s better for us, how to take – what to others may seem – the simplest decisions.

    Bottom line is that there are insights about our lives that, if you’re not HN or directly related to someone who is, are going to take you a long time to unveil; this is simply what I’m saying. I am not pointing this out as condition to be a better ADHD coach. Ok? Ok.

    3) Have you done some serious research on what ADHD is?

    You may have seen social media threads with hyper neurodivergents saying, “That happens to me too! Are we clones?” You may have gone further and read articles on online magazines, and even a blog or two written by someone who has ADHD. Truth to be told, it often feels like we’re clones, but we are far from being equal. 

    To understand the HN world, consider the ADHD subtypes and their symptoms as variables you’ll need to analyze with others, such us: your client’s upbringing, education, support system, environment, etc. These other variables make a huge impact on how we manage our ADHD. What works for one client, could be unbearable for another one.

    If you’re coming from the neurotypical world, bear in mind that probably everything you might know about human behavior and think that might help us, it most certainly won’t. 

    My point is: this is such a special world, that I strongly suggest you to first learn as much as you can about it, before going on full “I’m gonna be coach” mode.

    4) Would you enjoy learning about neuroscience, psychology, pedagogy, constantly?

    ADHD is about science; ADHD is about training a brain that works in a different way. Motivational strategies, time management strategies, study techniques, pep talks and else, do not work for us as they do on neurotypicals. 

    You’ll need, for instance, the knowledge on the following fields:

    • Neuroscience, to understand how a brain works, and how an ADHD brain differs. 
    • psychology, to understand the behavior of a child, a teenager, an adult; and then, to understand how that behavior is affected by ADHD;
    • pedagogy, to help you come up with strategies!

    Am I saying “become an expert in those fields”? No. I am simply saying you’d need to have an educated comprehension on what ADHD is, with the help you can find in those fields. And, you’ll need to continue studying, because ADHD findings are in constant evolution.[2]

    You won’t be offering professional advice per se (medical nor psychological), unless you’re a doctor or a therapist of course; but still, you’d need to be up to date with the latest findings because we never know when one research could change the way we understand ADHD. This means putting your hands on the latest research; besides the fact that these are expensive, if you’re not familiar with reading these sort of papers you’ll be facing a long road.

    But please: do not feel discourage on this. It takes practice but it’s doable. Ok? Ok.

    5) How Would You Train to Become an ADHD Coach?

    As far as I’m concerned, most people take courses to get certified, and… that won’t guarantee you a proper education. If you’d ask me, I encourage you to become an “ADHD professional” instead.

    How to do that? Well, these are for instance the steps I took (and continue taking):

    1. Learning how a brain works and how an ADHD brain works (with books and researches on neuroscience, psychology, etc)
    2. Learning what are the main ADHD struggles (with books on coaching; blogs written by Hyper Neurodivergents; and hey, they are good researches on this as well)
    3. Come up with strategies to cope with those struggles (I do this from my personal experience and my background on education)

    There are great books, even some with a very friendly language, that will offer you information on all of the above, including coaching strategies.

     

    5. Who and Why Do You Want to Help As An ADHD Coach?

    Children, teenagers, adults? And, when you think about ADHD, do you think about ADD too? If you do so, choose one because there is a big difference. 

    An example: I decided to focus on adults and young adults in the search of new beginnings, such us new jobs, new college careers, for instance. Why? Mainly for two reasons:

    1) Because I was able to thrive without diagnosis nor treatment, and it breaks my heart to pieces to see how many hyper neurodivergents can’t find a true calling or can’t manage to finish the career path they’ve chosen;

    2) My experience on transiting the “University world” more than once, and my background on education have already given me plenty of tools to manage my ADHD to study, work and to be extremely organized.

    Who and Why. The less the better. By selecting this – let’s say – “path” for you, you are going to have a clear goal and you’ll be able to specialize on ADHD further, deeper. 😉

    7) Do You Feel a True Calling?

    The ADHD world is a wonderful and quite sensible one; you’ll feel you’re learning from us, more than once. We are very reliable people; we believe there is good in everyone, so we are going to believe in you. Thus, one line from your mouth, even with your best intentions, could go south and mess up with our minds big time.

    Are you willing to take that huge responsibility?

    As I said at the beginning, this is a special World; not a business opportunity. All things ADHD seem to be turning into a business; coaches, apps, journals, fidgeting toys; and many of us are so desperate to do something with our lives that are willing to get it all right now.

    Please, don’t take this path for the money. 

    We need ADHD coaches for their calling; we need them for their love, commitment, understanding and knowledge.

    Ask yourself, with your hand over your heart: Could you be the one for us?

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  • ADHD Coach Training Path: Understanding Their History and Schema

    ADHD Coach Training Path: Understanding Their History and Schema

    I’ve been receiving many messages regarding this: where to find a good or the best ADHD coach training course. And you guys have put me in a difficult position here, because my ADHD brain was not interested at all in writing about this. In fact, I believe I’ve developed some sort of allergy to this whole “ADHD Coach Training Courses” thing.

    At the “Simply ADHD” course given by ADDCA, I felt I had been scammed. Then, seeking at other places and asking for information, I felt I was about to be scammed. And also, I felt they thought I would be stupid enough to fall for the “click now and save.” Another example? Laurie Dupar and her inspiring and compelling “Julien Mussi Scholarship” made me feel that the marketing around it appealed too strongly to our emotions — our calling, our hope, and even our grief for a fellow neurodivergent.[1]

    But hey, there are good ADHD coaches out there helping neurodivergents to thrive.

    So here’s what I’ve got for you today: how this business came to be, how it works, and where you can find some of the institutions that provide credentials so you can find ADHD training courses.

    It goes without saying: I don’t encourage you to take any. Instead, I encourage you to get as much information as you can before choosing where or how to study.

    How to Become an ADHD Coach

    Grab some (many) books and research, and learn about ADHD, neuroscience, psychology, pedagogy. Then, set up a website or an Instagram account, and just start working.

    You need knowledge and a true calling to start this journey. If you do well, your clients will support you, and your business will grow.

    “But Laly, can I just go for it? Without having taken a course? Without having a credential?”
    Yes, you can.

    Why? How? Allow me to explain…

    The History of the ADHD Coaches

    “ADHD coaches” became a thing when Edward Hallowell, M.D., published Driven to Distraction in 1994. Hallowell is a board-certified child and adult psychiatrist, a graduate of Harvard College and Tulane Medical School.[i]

    Over the following years, a few training academies were founded. But they couldn’t agree on what an ADHD coach should be.

    Hence, in 2005 ACO (a worldwide organization) and IAAC (a training institute) were founded, defining the ADHD coaching profession: “life coaches” who then specialize in ADHD.[i]

    So, first a book appeared with the phrase “ADHD Coach.” Then some people said, “Hey, let’s make training academies.”
    And then some other people (some of whom were members of those academies) said, “Hey, let’s control those academies; let’s make people seek credentials too.”
    Money, money, money.

    The ADHD Coach Training Schema: Overview

    On one hand, there are “training places” that offer courses. On the other hand, there are “organizations” that issue certificates.

    “Organizations,” for the purpose of this post, are associations, federations, centers, etc.

    And, read this carefully:

    • Some organizations endorse certain training places. For example, the ICF endorses ADDCA, among others.
    • One (as far as I know) doesn’t endorse any, nor asks for you to have taken courses.

    It’s important to bear in mind that this whole schema is outside the formal education system.

    As I will explain in detail later on, for you to become a “certified” coach, you’ll need:

    • To prove your knowledge of ADHD
       – with courses (aka “training hours”) or
       – with tests (no matter where you’ve studied; no matter if you’ve learned on your own)
    • To prove you are already a good coach (aka “coaching hours”)

    Ergo:

    • You don’t need a credential to work as an ADHD coach.
    • Furthermore, you don’t even need those courses to prove your knowledge or to work as an ADHD coach (at some places).

    How to Become a “Certified” ADHD Coach, in Detail

    First, you look up an organization that provides certification. Then, you study: on your own, or at one of the training places recommended by the organization you’ve chosen.

    Here is an example with four:

    Organizations that Provides CertificationOffers Courses / Programs?Where to Study?
    PAAC. Professional Association of ADHD Coaches (Est. 2009) [2]No (nor does it refer to training academies)On your own; take courses; simply, “learn about ADHD”
    ICF. International Coaching Federation(Est. 1995) [3]Refers to a list of training academies (a)At one of the referred academies
    IAC. iACTcenter Associate Coach [4]YesPlease don’t…(b)
    CCE. Center for Credentialing & Education [5]Refers to a list of training academiesAt one of the referred academies

    Notes: (a) ADDCA is one the academies the ICF recommends; (b) IAC is the one by Laurie Dupar…

    Source: Based on personal research

    All the links are in the footnotes. Stay with me — I know it’s a lot!

    Next, we’ll look at three things:

    • Why I chose those organizations
    • Getting certified without taking courses
    • Getting certified after having taken courses

    Why Did I Choose Those Four Organizations? ACO

    There’s an organization named ACO (ADHD Coaches Organization, est. 2005) that presents itself as “the” worldwide professional membership organization for ADHD coaches. They state that they are “committed to serving as a resource for ADHD coaches, its members, and the public.”[ii]

    ACO endorses and supports certification for coaches that have been already certified by the organizations I mentioned in the table.

    Out of its board of directors, Joyce Kubik caught my attention; her introduction mentions her having published “the award-winning and first ADHD Coach study published in the Journal of Attention Disorders.” But the study, Efficacy of ADHD Coaching for Adults With ADHD, concludes that “ADHD coaching had a positive impact on the lives of people with ADHD”[iii] — after having studied forty-five adults.

    It seems like there’s a hierarchy, but there isn’t. Supposedly:

    • ACO guarantees us that the ICF certifies those who come from good academies (like ADDCA).
    • But ICF — who certifies those coming from ADDCA — should be making sure it’s giving us proper education.
      …And it’s not happening.

    Getting Certified Without Taking Courses: PAAC

    Basically, here’s how it goes with them:

    Step 1: Learn on your own all things ADHD (they provide a list of recommended resources).[6]

    Step 2: Start working as an ADHD coach.

    Step 3: Go to them, apply, and:

    • Take a couple of tests
    • Get observed as you work
    • Observe coaching sessions

    Step 4: Get certified.

    The cost is $300 USD (to this date), and you have six months to complete the process from the date of your acceptance. Upon successful completion, this fee also includes one year as a member of PAAC (a $100 value).

    Getting Certified After Having Taken Courses / Followed Programs

    Put a mortgage on your house!

    Seriously, though… the courses cost thousands of dollars, and we’re not even sure we’ll be properly educated. Back when I was pursuing this path, I chose ADDCA because all the websites said it was the best, and it had become painful to search how to follow a program, where to study, and so on.

    Basically, here’s how it goes:

    Step 1: Select where you want to get certified and which “master of the universe’s” credential you wish to pay for.

    Step 2: Gain “hours of training.” You can do so by taking courses or by following a program at one place. (You can follow a full program at one academy, or you can take one course here and another there.)

    Step 3: Gain “coaching hours” (working hours as an ADHD coach).

    Step 4: Go through a process to get certified.

    Here is an example. The ICF offers three credentials:

    Credential /  RequirementsTraining HoursCoaching Hours
    Associate Certified Coach60+100+
    Professional Certified Coach125+500+
    Master (OMG) Certified Coach200+2,500+

    Based on “Credentials and Standards”, by ICF https://coachingfederation.org/credentials-and-standards

    “Laly, For the Love of 80’s Pop Music Help Me Decide”

    Check your dopamine status. (Seriously.) Now, check your focus.
    All checked? Awesome. I bet your interest is off the charts; so, here we go! Reflect upon the following:

    1. The “teachers” of those courses — where do you think they learned about ADHD? From books and research.
    2. But hey, they say that they also offer knowledge that comes from their experience in coaching. There are books about that too.

    Check your dopamine status. (Seriously)

    Now, check your focus.

    All checked? Awesome. I bet your interest is off the charts; so, here we go!

    Reflect upon the following:

    1. The “teachers” 🤦🏻‍♀️ of those courses, where do you think they have learned about ADHD? From books, and research.
    2. But hey, they say that they also offer knowledge that comes from their experience in coaching. There are books about that too.

    Wrapping It Up

    Can I recommend an ADHD Coach training place? No.

    How do I learn about all things ADHD? From books and research. I used to work as ghost writer writing thesis for professionals, including psychiatrists, so I’m familiar with this path.

    How did I start learning? “Googling”. Then, when I realized it was insane to do so, I asked Dr. K to guide me. He has given me lessons to understand how the brain works; then I read books on ADHD (some of which you’ll find in the Toolkit) and I continued (and continue) doing so every day.

    I am not looking forward to become a “certified ADHD coach” anymore; but if I were, I would read all the recommended books by PAAC [6], and then take the tests and else with them.

    I am, however, looking forward to becoming an “ADHD professional.” And there are great courses — by truly renowned specialists — that even give you a credential after completion. Huh? Stay tuned. 😉

    And listen, at the end of the day, a good ADHD coach – from my point of view, today – must have four things: great knowledge, cool tools, charisma and a true calling. If you’ve got that covered, “go for it.”

    Footnotes

    [1] Regarding Laurie Dupar and her iACTcenter Associate Coach, I’ll write another post.

    [2] The PAAC is available at https://paaccoaches.org. 
    The credential requirements are available at https://paaccoaches.org/become-a-certified-coach/.

    [3] The ICF is available at https://coachingfederation.org. 
    The ADHD Coach Training places it endorses can be found by using the EES (Education Search Service) at https://apps.coachingfederation.org/eweb/DynamicPage.aspx?webcode=ESS

    [4] IAC is available at https://www.iactcenter.com. 
    The programs it offers are at https://www.iactcenter.com/coach-training/. Please note that what you’ll see as “discounts” have been there for two years.🤦🏻‍♀️

    [5] The CCE is available at https://www.cce-global.org/. 
    The ADHD Coach Training places it endorses are at https://www.cce-global.org/credentialing/bcc/training. Please note there are a couple of “universities” which are private; they are not related with the governmental schema.

    [6] Recommended Books by PAAC are available at https://paaccoaches.org/resources-recommended-books/

    References

    [I] ACO. “History”. URL: https://www.adhdcoaches.org/history [Retrieved: Jan 2021]

    [ii] ACO’s Website. URL: https://www.adhdcoaches.org. [Retrieved: Jan 2021]

    [iii] Kubik J A. Efficacy of ADHD Coaching for Adults With ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders. 2010;13(5):442-453. doi:10.1177/1087054708329960

  • Can We Trust an ADHD Coach? My Nightmare at ADDCA

    Can We Trust an ADHD Coach? My Nightmare at ADDCA

    I am seriously worried about neurodivergents relying on ADHD coaches. I took a course at a well-known academy — Simply ADHD, at ADDCA — to start pursuing a certification in ADHD coaching, and I finished it feeling as if I had been scammed.
    To sum it up, during that course:

    • The needs of my brain weren’t considered.
    • My interest was put to the test.
    • I was discouraged.
    • I received wrong information and wrong teachings.
    • And at the end — how naïve did they think I was?

    Since hiring an ADHD coach seems to be in vogue, I must assume there are good, even great coaches helping neurodivergents to thrive. But I wonder: who can we trust when the places training them seem unworthy of our trust?

    What’s an ADHD coach

    After finishing the course, I read an article from ADDitude Magazine[1] that opened my eyes even wider to what an ADHD coach actually is.

    Regarding how to choose one, the article quotes Harold Meyer saying, “You need to be an educated consumer.”
    Which led me to think: consumer equals business.

    An ADHD coach — who is only an ADHD coach — is not a therapist, doctor, specialist, or expert. An ADHD coach is simply a person who knows about ADHD, has strategies to cope with it, and knows how to share those strategies with others. They will ask us what we need (a goal or a small objective) and help us achieve it.

    A “certified” ADHD coach, on the other hand, is someone who has completed a program (a series of courses) endorsed by an organization. In the case of ADDCA, that organization is the International Coach Federation (ICF).

    So I wonder — if the course I took has given me wrong information:
    How much can we trust ADDCA and the coaches who have trained at it?
    How much can we trust the ICF?
    Doesn’t the ICF keep track of how those programs evolve — or not?

    My Experience With the Simply ADHD Course at ADDCA

    ADDCA Didn’t Offer Me Help

    Before the course began, I received a PDF manual that I couldn’t read. The legibility of the document clashed with my ADHD brain.
    (Related: What Is the Best Font for ADHD?)

    I explained that I needed the file in another font and asked for a non–password-protected version so I could make it readable. I received a firm “no” and an epic fail of an attempt to help.[2]

    ADDCA Uses a Terrible Platform

    ADDCA uses BlueJeans for its sessions — a platform similar to Zoom that honestly shouldn’t still be on the market.
    I would constantly get one red bar of connectivity. No one could hear me when I tried to speak. It was also so user-unfriendly that one of the coaches resigned because no one had shown her how to share slides.
    (I missed you, Michelle.)

    Outdated Library

    I’ve been working online for decades, so I can tell you that trying to find something in ADDCA’s library was worse than searching Yahoo before the Google era.

    It’s that bad — so bad that the coach who stayed with us had to send a Dropbox link for us to download the reading materials.
    Those files, by the way, weren’t organized, classified, or properly titled.

    ADDCA Provides Wrong Information

    The “copyrighted manual” given to students contains no citations — and even includes erroneous references.
    On top of that, it offers wrong information, especially regarding neuroscience.

    Example 1:
    “The brain takes in incredible amounts of information from our senses, the environment, our interactions, feelings, and memories.”
    They should have put a dot after “from our senses”— and left it there..

    Example 2:
    “The mind is the essence of our being… Our mind resides in and around the brain…”
    I laughed. I mentioned this to my doctor, and he went, “Don’t even…”

    Lacks Consideration of ADHD Struggles

    About 90% of the students had ADD/ADHD, and the coaches seemed very understanding — during the sessions.
    Afterwards, though, we’d receive long emails filled with more information and insights. Those emails lacked subheadings, bullet points, or any formatting that could make them legible.

    They were painful to read and time-consuming. There were complaints — many of them.

    Take My Interest And Smash It

    Because of those complaints, the author of the manual began sending emails telling us that we didn’t need to read everything; that we’d cover it all during the sessions.
    Then she asked those of us who had been participating to “hold back” so that others could contribute.

    Personally, if I can’t participate — engage — in a class, I can’t maintain my attention.
    And if an author is telling me that I don’t need to read her book, I won’t.

    But what a tricky thing happened at the end…

    Does ADDCA Offer an Inaccurate Certificate?

    By the end of the course, we were reminded that we needed to “pass” with at least 80% on a “module review” — which, supposedly, wasn’t a test — in order to obtain the certificate.

    So suddenly, I had to finish reading the 350 pages I’d been discouraged from reading. Pages full of wrong information and missing or inaccurate references.
    We were told we had a month to complete the review. But I didn’t have an extra month — because I can plan.

    So I hyperfocused, drained my brain to the point of inhuman exhaustion, and passed the test — only to receive a certificate that states:

    “The ADD Coach Academy confirms that this student has completed 19.5 hours of Coach-Specific Training in Core Competencies, without testing (…).” 

    And that really pushed me to the edge. I have a B.Ed., but please correct me if I’m wrong:
    If one needs to pass a test, then it’s a test — not a “review.”
    And if it’s open book, like this one was, it’s a comprehension test.
    So I wonder… what’s the deal with this?

    I wrote to ADDCA’s Student Services about it. Every time I’d asked about enrolling in another course, I’d get an immediate reply. But not this time.

    After I complained about the misleading certificate, I heard nothing but crickets… and have been hearing them ever since.
    Hashtag: “Business.”

    Who Can We Trust?

    During the course, I had so many questions about the wrong information and missing references that I created a forum for my classmates here on this blog.

    I was trying to give them a hint about what was actually happening… but I think I failed.
    That’s one of the main reasons I’m sharing this experience.

    I even asked the author of the manual for references, and she replied:
    “Why do you think you need them?”

    Why do I think I need them? Funny.

    (And in case someone complains about me quoting a “private email,” let me clarify: I paid over $600 for a product that wasn’t what I expected. Customer support doesn’t even deserve one star.)

    If it weren’t for the research I do and the classes on neuroscience I’m taking with my doctor — who’s not only a psychiatrist specialized in neuroscience and ADHD, but also a professor — I wouldn’t have noticed ADDCA’s wrong teachings.
    And honestly, what kind of coach would I have become?

    Recently, I wrote that an ADHD coach is a neuro-instructor.
    Well — strike that. From what I’ve learned, some ADHD coaches can be dangerous. Hopefully, somewhere outside ADDCA, there are the true neuro-instructors we actually need.

    Even though this was a nightmare, I always try to find a bright side.
    At one of the classes, the coach told us that ADHDers are easily scammed.

    So, you know what?
    I’m grateful for having experienced an example of how that feels.
    What a wonderful learning experience this turned out to be.

    References and Notes

    [1] McCarthy Laura (2020) What Is an ADHD Coach. Attitude. URL: https://www.additudemag.com/shopping-for-a-coach/ (Last Visit: October, 2020)

    [2] The day before the course began, they offered me a supposedly “Arial” version of the manual. The file was broken and wouldn’t open.
    Even if it had, I couldn’t have created a proper index because it was secured.

  • How to Drive a Manual Brain

    How to Drive a Manual Brain

    Perhaps I should resume this new blog by telling you why I am specializing on ADHD coaching; but, since I left a hint on my previous post and recently someone asked me “What is an ADHD coach”, my brain took another turn.

    Thinking about an answer to that question, as I was driving the other day (I drive stick), a metaphor pop up in my head; I’d say I thought something like, “OMG; a neurotypical brain is like an automatic car and a neurodivergent brain is like a manual car; and just like you go to an instructor to learn how to drive, we go to an ADHD coach to guide us on learning about the particularities that are behind driving a “manual brain.”

    Then, I did my best to explain it.

    Quick Intro

    I’ve been driving stick since I learned how to drive, and I love it so much that when I drive a manual car I feel I’m not driving (it’s so easy that is boring!) To do so, as I’ll explain, one must learn how to use three pedals and a stick shift with seven positions, and also how to listen to the engine; the sound of the engine is what tell us what do next.

    It’s like becoming one with the car; one must be completely aware that we’re driving… and this, this makes every ride so much enrichening…

    Now, bear in mind this: a manual and an automatic car are the same (mostly). A few years ago, I got a brand-new Chevrolet with a payment plan and the dealer asked me, “Will you be taking the automatic or the manual one?” The question was simple because the difference between them were superficial (like, having a button to “roll down the window” or not ); but they both had the same horses, the same motor, Bluetooth! Therefore, the main difference relies on how to drive it.

    How to Drive a Manual Car

    Attention peeps! This is cool; in a manual car, there are:

    •  three pedals; from left to right:
      • the clutch (which you press with your left foot)
      • the brake, and the gas or accelerator (which you press with your right foot)
    • and the stick shift has different positions 
      • reverse and five velocities
      • neutral gear
    My manual car ☺️

    And this is how you drive it:

    1. Enter the car and make sure the shift stick is on neutral;
    2. Put the keys on and start the engine; (well, duh)
    3. Press the clutch pedal and while you’re pressing it move the stick to “1”; release the clutch smoothly as you press the gas to drive for half a block or so; you’ll hear the engine asking you for more; then you:
    4. Press the clutch pedal again, move the stick to “2” and press the gas to drive for two blocks or so (always listening to the engine) And once again you,
    5. Press the clutch pedal, move the stick to “3” and – finally – press the gas and start enjoying the ride.

    Then if you:

    • want to go faster: continue pressing the clutch pedal and switching to “4” and then “5”, always listening to the engine;
    • need to stop: press the clutch pedal, move the stick to neutral and press the break.

    Bear this in mind: when you are pressing the clutch pedal to move the stick, you must release it very slowly while pressing the gas; you can’t simply lift your left foot because the car will choke. If you think about it, it’s like learning a choreography.

    It seems a lot… It is a lot; but once you get used to it, it comes naturally; what’s more difficult to learn is to listen to the engine to see when it needs more gas, and how to carefully transition from the clutch to the gas without choking the car.

    An ADHD brain, works exactly like that.

    Driving a Manual Brain

    A neurotypical brain, which is automatic, is easy to drive; you put the keys on, move the stick shift to D and press the gas to “just start driving.” A neurodivergent brain, on the other hand, is manual… and it needs more of our help.

    First, we must decide to get into the car and that is a huge deal; if where we must go is not of our interest, we won’t even bother to find the keys we’ve left “somewhere.”

    Then, we must be aware that we are driving and pay attention to the sound of the engine telling us how much power it needs; and of course, to the signs, the other cars and to those people who don’t cross the street from the corner!

    When we make a switch, we must do it smoothly and step by step; we cannot go from 1 to 3; we must change our gears step by step: 1, 2, 3, 4, full power!

    And, if an old lady wants to cross the street – and we have to release the gas, press the clutch pedal, move the shift stick to neutral and press the stop pedal – by the time grandma gets to the sidewalk, we may have forgotten where we were going to or lose interest in it; hey, we may even go back home thinking, “why did I go out in the first place? Oh… Toilette paper!”

    There is a lot more to it; but the fundamentals of driving a manual brain relies on this: 

    • having interest in going somewhere; 
    • starting with a pause;
    • being aware that we are driving (where to; what’s around us); 
    • listening to the engine to see what it needs; 
    • paying attention also to the transition process to switch gears;
    • do things one by one, following an order;
    • forgive the old lady without having a meltdown.

    So, What’s an ADHD Coach?

    It’s a neuro instructor! Is a person that will guide us to understand how this manual brain works so we can go to the moon and back because, …, yes, manual brains can also fly; and some of them can do it really fast.

    My Jalopy

    While driving a manual brain, we may feel that we’re stuck with a jalopy, with that old car our great grandparent got at an auction… and do you know what? In a way, we are; because when we get in, we see it’s full of surprises, treasures we never imagined there could be.

    In mine, I found in the trunk a map to a fantasy world where only I can go and where I can fly; under the driver’s seat, there’s a mysterious formula that makes my brain race at the speed of light and it’s hyper-awesome! The ceiling is covered with countless pictures of places, people, and things I long to visit, see and feel… And the wheel! O-M-G; the wheel has a silly smiley face over the horn, so every time I run into something that gets in my way, I smile ☺️

    A neurotypical person may wonder, “All of that?” and I’d reply, “Not even close.”

    I drove like an F1 driver for twenty years; with purpose, listening to my engine, being aware of everything around me and absorbing the knowledge from every person I’d meet and their new stories… But then, I crashed more times than I’d have expected.

    During my mid-twenties, I forgot about the cooling system and it ran out of water; and I kept pressing the gas to keep going – without listening to engine – until I broke my manual brain… Life, traumas and my own bad choices literally choked my brain until it went: “kaboom.”

    Maybe if I had known there was also a cooling system I needed to care of, I wouldn’t have failed; but then again, I wouldn’t be here telling you: “Even if you crash your brain into pieces, you can fix it.”

    Last but not least, I never lose my keys; I attached them to something big that I cherish, to something that brings me happy thoughts, so they are always at plain sight.

    … If you’d ask me, driving automatic is totally overrated.

    cark keys with a big cat keychain
    I was not lying ☺️ © neurodivergent.blog